Sick

Got woken up very early this morning by my husband who had to travel abroad for work and thought it necessary to pack his suitcase in the bedroom at this ungodly hour. Needless to say I was less than pleased, I tend to have a bad temper in the morning as it is but this morning I was positively foul.

After he left I stayed stubbornly in bed trying to sleep, but a million thoughts crossed my mind so I never did get back to sleep. While lying there I realised I didn't feel half bad this morning so that sort of cheered me up. I decided to follow the advice I'd read in the pregnancy book "What to expect when you are expecting" to make myself breakfast in bed and start the day slowly. So after I made my yoghurt and muesli with blueberries I skipped back to bed watching morning tell. So far so good...

However after a shower and getting dressed I was starting to feel ill. I mean really like you can throw up any second. I felt soooooo sorry for myself so I dialed my husband and my mums number, neither of them picked up... ran to the loo.... but no... it was just stuck at the back of my throat. I sometimes wish I would really be sick just so it would get out and then the feeling was over. But even on my way to work on my bicycle I felt like I had to stop and... but I didn't.

Anyway got to the office and made myself ginger tea, which is another tip from the book, this one seems to actually work. I have only two more weeks left at work, as I quit my job a few weeks ago to go and start my own company. Everybody seems to think it rather reckless of me to quit while I had only just found out I was pregnant. But this is something I've wanted to do my whole life and I feel it is now or never. Life shouldn't have to end just because I am pregnant!

Later more on my new business and some more about me.

my pregnancy so far

I am now 7 and a half weeks along. I found out I was pregnant on the evening of the 16th of January. I had done a test the week before at the GP but it was negative. Of course I was a little deflated by the news but then pinned all my hopes on the fact that it might still be too early to tell (it was day 24 of my cycle). The weekend following that test I had the hen party of my best friend and knowing I was not pregnant (even though a stuborn voice in my head was saying I might be) I had plenty to drink and smoked lots of sigarettes.

The tuesday following that weekend I felt like I still hadn't recovered. I had told my husband that I would wait till wednesday morning to do a further test. But as I was still feeling so bad from the weekend the voice in my head was once again saying... "it might be because you are pregnant...." so I secretly bought an extra test. Thinking that if it was negative I wouldn't tell my husband that I'd already done a test and do another on the wednesday with him. However to my great surprise and delight a firm blue + appeared in the window! I nearly fell of the toilet. Hardly able to contain my excitement I decided to wait for my husband to come home to tell him. He reacted very casually, "really... that's quick!" and continued opening his post. I guess he needed some time to absorb it as the next day he was so excited that he started sending me baby-name websites by email.

Anyway a lot can still happen, as it is still very early days. But I have a good feeling about it, even though I physically feel very shitty! Not so much throwing up but feeling like you are about to get a flu, no energy what so ever, I can sleep for britain... and indigestion. Also I already feel quite fat... as I feel hungry continuously. I don't think I have actually gained weight but my stomach is just very flabby at the moment. Not very attractive. But hey... in the end.... it will all be worth it, or so they say.

I will try and post most days to catalogue my progress, how I'm feeling, insecureties and general expetations. I hope some people might stumble on this blog somehow and will leave comments.